so yeah, lately i've been having tons of fun just hanging out with my friends basically and going out all the time. that part's great, except sometimes what really gets me aggravated is myself. yes, myself. i realized that sometimes i can be the biggest brat on the face of this earth and now i tend to lash out on people for the most absurd reasons. sometimes it feels like i'm just compelled to disagree or automatically senselessly defend myself or put up my guard when there's absolutely no need. when the fuck did i become so negative? i need to stop. and i keep blocking out things that bother me, such as my whole school situation. i can't wait til it ends in two days, and then college is in two weeks. but i also feel that things from the past have morphed me into this negative being. i keep coming to these points where i'll just feel completely dissatisfied and upset. some things i wish i had and i don't, and some things i do have and i wish i didn't.sometimes i wish i could go back and do it all over again. i just wish there were such things as second chances. in any case, i really do need to change, and grow the fuck up because i'm sick and tired of everything.